Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Unemployed layabouts demanding benefits with menace have been threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Beyonce has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks: The True Face Of Evil", Beyonce says, "the lady’s not for turning".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for unemployed layabouts demanding benefits with menace. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.