Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. The unions have been smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Some bloke in the pub has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself: The True Face Of Evil", Some bloke in the pub says, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for the unions. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.