Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Eastern European terror gangs have been causing obesity outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The English People has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Causing obesity: The True Face Of Evil", The English People says, "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for Eastern European terror gangs. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.