With schools turning out a generation of illiterate hoodlums, crime threatening our every movement and a Government that treats criminals with kid gloves rather than forcibly immasculating them, is it any wonder that, once more hunt sabateours have been being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul)?

What is needed is some very serious discipline. We can beat sense into hunt sabateours - all it takes is a little British spunk, some backbone and a big stick.

Instead sickos, perverts and communists are allowed to crawl the streets with impunity. Being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) must no longer be tolerated, especially when perpetrated by hunt sabateours.

Speaking exclusively to the Mail about hunt sabateours, Conservative head office said "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".