Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of being foreign and suspicious looking has been perpetrated by Islamist youths.

The Mail can reveal that Islamist youths are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police said of the Islamist youths, "these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".