Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) has been perpetrated by communist-sympathisers.

The Mail can reveal that communist-sympathisers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Lala from the teletubbies said of the communist-sympathisers, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".