Glue-sniffing teenagers have been being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) the Mail can exclusively reveal.

How long can this political correctness gone mad be tolerated by British people?

Vince Cable said of glue-sniffing teenagers, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood."

Glue-sniffing teenagers made no comment about the accusations when we didn’t ask.