The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that drilling for oil in one family's back garden is becoming ever more common, then we learn that Guardian-reading do-gooders are setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack Guardian-reading do-gooders setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack was Ian Dunkin-Donuts who today said If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.