Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Lala from the teletubbies said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".