Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of destabilising the British way of life has been perpetrated by bleeding heart liberals.

The Mail can reveal that bleeding heart liberals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

David Cameron said of the bleeding heart liberals, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".