The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that eating babies is becoming ever more common, then we learn that paedophiles are squatting houses left empty by families on holiday every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack paedophiles squatting houses left empty by families on holiday was Nick Clegg who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..