Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Eastern European terror gangs have been drilling for oil in one family's back garden outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Drilling for oil in one family's back garden: The True Face Of Evil", Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium says, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for Eastern European terror gangs. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.