Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow homosexuals such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but homosexuals have this week been revealed as injecting crack into primary school children.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps homosexuals would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Margaret Thatcher who this week said, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that injecting crack into primary school children is acceptable behaviour.