Sick filth on television, a nanny state, stealth taxes, floods of immigrants and now using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists. Welcome to Broken Britain!

Last Thursday following an intensive 20 minute investigation on Facebook, Conservative head office revealed that paedophiles have been using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists with impunity.

These misfits surely shouldn’t be allowed in a country that is still ostensibly Christian. Corporal punishment is the only option for paedophiles.

"That might sound harsh but so is having your children broken into and your house taught to hate itself in the name of multiculturalism in our so-called schools." Conservative head office went on to say.


Conservative head office concluded, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".