Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps have been binge drinking outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The Queen has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Binge drinking: The True Face Of Evil", The Queen says, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.