Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists has been perpetrated by Noam Chomsky devotees.

The Mail can reveal that Noam Chomsky devotees are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Some bloke in the pub said of the Noam Chomsky devotees, "Waterboarding is not torture".