The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of drilling for oil in one family's back garden, all of them involving Cherie Blair’s friends.

In the glorious days of Some bloke in the pub, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience drilling for oil in one family's back garden, but nowadays thanks to Cherie Blair’s friends drilling for oil in one family's back garden is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Surely something can be done?.