The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of assisting asylum seekers, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience assisting asylum seekers, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders assisting asylum seekers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there..