The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone is becoming ever more common, then we learn that followers of Hugo Chavez are destabilising the British way of life every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack followers of Hugo Chavez destabilising the British way of life was Conservative head office who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..