Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack has been perpetrated by homosexuals.

The Mail can reveal that homosexuals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Margaret Thatcher said of the homosexuals, "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".