Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of burning policemen at the stake has been perpetrated by young single mothers.

The Mail can reveal that young single mothers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Jonathan Aitkin said of the young single mothers, "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".