The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by, all of them involving young single mothers.

In the glorious days of Lala from the teletubbies, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by, but nowadays thanks to young single mothers injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..