Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping so-called migrants has been perpetrated by glue-sniffing teenagers.

The Mail can reveal that glue-sniffing teenagers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Bernard Manning said of the glue-sniffing teenagers, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".