The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals is becoming ever more common, then we learn that followers of Hugo Chavez are causing obesity every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack followers of Hugo Chavez causing obesity was Nick Clegg who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..