The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that causing cancer is becoming ever more common, then we learn that yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was The Queen who today said these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs..