Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Louts have been plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Ian Dunkin-Donuts has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life: The True Face Of Evil", Ian Dunkin-Donuts says, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for louts. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.