The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, all of them involving extremists.

In the glorious days of Paul Dacre, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, but nowadays thanks to extremists squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is These dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs..