The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village, all of them involving insane Brussels bureaucrats.

In the glorious days of Amanda Platell, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village, but nowadays thanks to insane Brussels bureaucrats terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening..