Now boffins have discovered that communist-sympathisers can cause cancer as well as being, frankly, distasteful.

Docktawh Gillian Keith, speaking from her underground nutrition dome said, "Ever since Jacob Rees-Mogg told me about it, I have been trying to cure destabilising the British way of life with a powerful mix of micronutrients, goji berries and spirulina."

She added "As it turns out destabilising the British way of life is almost completely identical to cancer, in how it affects the balance of our chakras. And everybody knows that destabilising the British way of life is mostly caused by communist-sympathisers, who are known to promote a negative orgone balance in the red layer of the energy rainbow."

Of course liberal-minded multiculturalists will no doubt assume that comparing communist-sympathisers to carcinogens is "racist", but they can’t deny the simple facts of the case. And the Mail is happy to back Gillian’s words; she gave us a fresh insight into Broken Britain by saying, "These dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".