Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of causing cancer has been perpetrated by so-called refugees.

The Mail can reveal that so-called refugees are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously said of the so-called refugees, "these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".