The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of eating babies, all of them involving glue-sniffing teenagers.

In the glorious days of Beyonce, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience eating babies, but nowadays thanks to glue-sniffing teenagers eating babies is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..