Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields has been perpetrated by the unions.

The Mail can reveal that the unions are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium said of the the unions, "But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there.".