Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow paedophiles such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but paedophiles have this week been revealed as setting fire to libraries.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps paedophiles would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Jacob Rees-Mogg who this week said, "But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that setting fire to libraries is acceptable behaviour.