Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Young single mothers have been burning policemen at the stake outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Burning policemen at the stake: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "the lady’s not for turning".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for young single mothers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.