The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that assisting asylum seekers is becoming ever more common, then we learn that hoody-wearing layabouts are terrorising innocent investment bankers every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack hoody-wearing layabouts terrorising innocent investment bankers was The Queen who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..