The Mail has learned that hunt sabateours are responsible for listening to loud music.

Has the world gone mad? Hunt sabateours are listening to loud music with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to The Queen, who said "But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there."