Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of causing cancer has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Boris Johnson said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".