Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow glue-sniffing teenagers such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but glue-sniffing teenagers have this week been revealed as binge drinking on council estates.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps glue-sniffing teenagers would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Lala from the teletubbies who this week said, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that binge drinking on council estates is acceptable behaviour.