The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of John Major, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..