Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping illegal immigrants has been perpetrated by anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

The Mail can reveal that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

James May said of the anarchists calling themselves the Wombles, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".