With schools turning out a generation of illiterate hoodlums, crime threatening our every movement and a Government that treats criminals with kid gloves rather than forcibly immasculating them, is it any wonder that, once more hooligans have been urinating on the Union Jack?

What is needed is some very serious discipline. We can beat sense into hooligans - all it takes is a little British spunk, some backbone and a big stick.

Instead sickos, perverts and communists are allowed to crawl the streets with impunity. Urinating on the Union Jack must no longer be tolerated, especially when perpetrated by hooligans.

Speaking exclusively to the Mail about hooligans, John Major said "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".