The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of engaging in steamy sex romps, all of them involving the unions.

In the glorious days of Norman Tebbit, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience engaging in steamy sex romps, but nowadays thanks to the unions engaging in steamy sex romps is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..