Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of destabilising the British way of life has been perpetrated by glue-sniffing teenagers.

The Mail can reveal that glue-sniffing teenagers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Enoch Powell said of the glue-sniffing teenagers, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".