The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by, all of them involving extremists.

In the glorious days of Jonathan Aitkin, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by, but nowadays thanks to extremists injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..