Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of destabilising the British way of life has been perpetrated by anarchist leaders "the elders".

The Mail can reveal that anarchist leaders "the elders" are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

A homeowner said of the anarchist leaders "the elders", "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".