Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of immigrating has been perpetrated by anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

The Mail can reveal that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

A homeowner said of the anarchists calling themselves the Wombles, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".