The Mail has learned that enviro-Mental-ists are responsible for plotting to kidnap a senior royal.

Has the world gone mad? Enviro-Mental-ists are plotting to kidnap a senior royal with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Lala from the teletubbies, who said "the lady’s not for turning"