The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals, all of them involving communist-sympathisers.

In the glorious days of George Osborne, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals, but nowadays thanks to communist-sympathisers pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals..