Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of plotting to kidnap a senior royal has been perpetrated by young single mothers.

The Mail can reveal that young single mothers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium said of the young single mothers, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".