In a shocking indictment of our permissive society it has this week emerged that Twitter users have been being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul).

Things have gone too far. Its bad enough that we tolerate the spicy food and loud music of Twitter users without allowing them to terrorise decent, middle class families as well.

The Mail will be starting a campaign against Twitter users and we promise our readers now that we shall not rest until each one of them is hunted down like a dog. Some bloke in the pub speaking in support of our campaign said "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

Have things gone too far? Have your say on our webshite!